Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Grandma Chronicles-Part 1

So it dawned on me this evening, after drinking 2 margaritas and a vanilla white russian, that I haven't really posted anything about my grandma on here. This is a bit stupid on my part because it has consumed a large part of my thoughts this year and I have never sat down to put it in writing. So here goes:

My paternal grandmother is ill, she is my last surviving grandparent. I have never really gotten along with her. In 22 years I don't think I've ever heard her say something positive to anyone. The closest I got was when I recieved my associates degree and she said "I'm proud of you, but your degree is useless." Moving on...

She had a major stroke sometime in the last half of 2006. After blood thinning medication and rehabilitation she still wasn't improving. They did more tests and found out that she was having in the range of 10-20 mini-strokes a day. They increased her blood thinning medication and that still didn't help. Turns out she wasn't taking the medicine regularly, or watching her blood pressure, or eating. Fast forward to September 07...

They found cancer in her bowels. She had cancer in her bowels 9 years ago. She had surgery to remove the cancer 9 years ago, and in December of 06 she has surgery to remove more cancer. Turns out that it's more advanced than they thought and has grown in to abdomen. She had a few options, have a major operation with only a 5% chance of surviving, have radiation, have chemo, or have radiation and chemo together. She flip flopped through the options multiple times and, for now, has settled on radiation and chemo 5 days a week for 12 weeks. This has completely changed the family dynamic again...

My mother will pretty much be living with my grandma-(who is my dad's mom)-while she has chemo and radiation. While I understand the importance of somebody being there with my grandma while she endures these treatments, my grandma has 3 children. My dad, my aunt--who lives in New York, and my uncle--who lives 1 hour away. All 3 of them have turned a blind eye to this, so my mom has taken over. She's leaving on Sunday and after Sunday, unless I venture into the hell known as my grandmothers residence, I probably won't see her for 3 months. Now the fact that I won't see my mom for 3 months doesn't bother me, it's that I can't even have a decent conversation with her during those 3 months because every time I call I get the "I don't have time for you, I'm busy" statement that my mother is so fond of.

So that's the end of Part 1. Trust me, there is a lot more to write about, but I don't feel like writing a book tonight and besides, I don't think blogger would be too happy with me posting a 10 page post. That and you guys probably wouldn't read it all :) I know I wouldn't. Anyways, be on the lookout for Part 2 soon.

Have a good weekend everybody :)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you...what a stressful time. I know I talk to my mom at LEAST once a day...that I understand...I pray your grandmother has a change of heart in this time...I pray she becomes what she has always strived to be in her head...I pray you can love her through it...as hard as that sounds...sending hugs!
Tam

1:48 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, this is the THIRD time I have typed this comment...sigh.

((((HUGS)))) to you - hope your grandmother finds some peace soon.

9:42 PM

 

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