Paperwork

So I'm once again filling out paperwork for FIA-(Family Independence Agency). It's required to work in any licensed daycare/childcare center/school/after-school program/etc. It seems like every year they add a page. I understand the need to know who is taking care of children, but it's borderline insane with the kind of information they need. I.E. not information that is committed to memory, meaning I have had to dig through paper files in order to find it all. In this year's version of "FIA Paperwork Hell" they want the following:

Please list all aliases.
I guess putting "Julia Goolia" on that column wouldn't be a good idea. Nor would "Tater Salad." Though with how tight asses these people are, they probably wouldn't get either joke.

They want my mother's maiden name, her mother's maiden name, and my father's mother's maiden name. They also want to know who my siblings are, who they are married to, and how many siblings the in-laws have + who their parents are.

I'm being finger printed, drug tested, blood tested, tb tested, and have a required physical that literally takes over an hour in the Dr's office for the Dr. to go over everything on their list.

SSN, VIN, License plate number, car make and model, driver's license number. They also want this information for those "aliases" they asked about before.

They run a full background check. This includes EVERYTHING. I took a look at one of my background checks once, they even put parking tickets on there now. This background check looks at involvement with known pedophiles, terrorists, abuse charges, car accidents-no matter how minor, run in's with the police, credit reports, etc. etc. etc.--the list goes on.

All addresses in the past 10 years. Not only do they want addresses, they want phone numbers to go with these addresses.

Places of employment for the last 10 years. Again, they want addresses, dates worked, and phone numbers to go with these places.

Birth certificate...not a copy...a CERTIFIED copy--because I'm sure it's changed since I sent them one LAST year.

Schools attended including, but not limited to, all elementary, middle, jr. high, high school, community colleges, university, technical colleges, etc. etc. etc. They also want dates of attendance, phone numbers, and addresses for all of these.

That's about it. There's a few other really stupid questions. I have a question though, when did I go from preschool teacher to CIA Agent?