Jealousy

I know this might be a hard hit for some people, but I'm going to blog about it anyway because its what's on my mind.

Jealousy. What is it exactly? We all have an idea of what jealousy is, but it is different for everybody. Little kids get jealous over other kids toys. Adults get jealous over other adults toys. At least that's what the media make it out to be. But what is it, really?

For me, jealousy is wanting but not having. Wanting but not being able to get. I've had my bouts of jealousy throughout my life. I could like a better car, more money, a bigger place to live--the really superficial things. But my jealousy goes deeper. Maybe longing is a better word for it, longing for something that I do not have.

My longing is for a family. I want to be a mom. Do I need to be a mom? Probably not, but I WANT to be a mom. I want to raise a child, I want to change diapers, I want to nurse, I want to watch the first steps, I want to see my baby crawl, I want to see my child's first day of school, I want to watch them grow, and learn, and become their own person. I want that.

So here's the big question for you all out there in blogger land. What are you longing for? What are you jealous of?