Needed

I came to the conclusion today that I like to feel needed. I like feeling as though somebody, somewhere, sometime needs me to do something for them. However, I don't like to be the one who needs things. That being said, I'm feeling quite un-needed this month for the following reasons:

1. I'm not needed at home. I live by myself & at the end of the day, coming home just doesn't appeal to me. Granted, when I lived with my ex, coming home didn't appeal to me either. It would be nice to occasionally have someone waiting for me when I get home. Someone who is happy to see me just because they are, not because they need me to cook dinner, clean, take the garbage out, etc. etc. etc.

2. I'm only working 3 days a week this semester. This was short notice--as in, I found out yesterday. Now being told that you're only needed 3 days a week is fine. The money thing isn't an issue, but the problem is it could turn into a "I don't need you to work at all" situation. My boss assured me that it's nothing I did, it's just the circumstances right now with her family.

3. I'm not needed for tutoring, group projects, or anything else related to school. I attribute this to the fact that most of my school friends moved away last year after they graduated.

Maybe this is just a new chapter in my life. Maybe I should take advantage of the free time and do something that I want to do. It just feels weird, that's all. In the past 7 years many people have called me when they needed help. I enjoy helping when I have the ability to do so. I never went out and looked for ways I could help, I just helped my friends when they would ask me. Thing is, I had a lot of friends who needed help with a lot of stuff. So now here I am, feeling un-needed. I guess I will be learning to go out and find ways in which I can help others. It's a new direction in my life and quite frankly, it's a little scary.