Discipline
Had a bit of an issue today with my charge. I realized today that every morning when I give her a chewable vitamin, she pops it in her mouth and then goes to the bathroom. This has been going on for the past month, however she was gone for 2 1/2 weeks so in reality, I've only witnessed this 6 times. I've been thinking that something was up, but never acted upon those thoughts...until today. She walked by me in the kitchen after her bathroom break while I was washing dishes and I said "Did you take your vitamin?" and she said yes, while not looking me in the eye. I found this odd, so I finished the dishes and went to go find her in her play room. Here's how it went from there:
Me: "Open up your mouth please"
She opened her mouth and I didn't see any remnants of the vitamin in her teeth, which, if you know anything about chewable vitamins, you know that little pieces of them stay in the crevises of the teeth after the vitamin has been chewed up and swallowed.
Me: "Did you chew and swallow your vitamin?"
Charge: "Yeah."
Me: "It doesn't look like you took your vitamin."
Charge: "I took it!!!"
Me: "I don't believe you ate the vitamin. Did you throw it away?"
Charge: " I DID take my vitamin. I didn't throw it in the garbage!"
Me: "Did you flush it down the toilet?"
Charge: "NO! I chewed it up and swallowed it!"
Me: "I don't believe you are being honest with me. Are you lying to me about taking your vitamin?"
At this point tears start to well in her eyes. I asked her AGAIN if she flushed it down the toilet. She slowely nodded yes, without looking at me. I then took her back to the kitchen, gave her another vitamin and made her chew AND swallow it in front of me. I told her that she would be taking her vitamin before she left the table from now on, while I am present. I then put her in a time out...I gave her 5 minutes for flushing her vitamin down the toilet and 5 minutes for lying to me.
Now that I'm home and away from the situation, I'm turning to the parents who read this blog. Was I too harsh in giving a 6 yr. old a 10 minute time out? Am I out of line by making her take her vitamin in front of me every day? Also, was my line of questioning wrong? I mean, she repeatedly lied to me--is this normal for a 6 yr old? or should I have just gotten straight to the point...or would that have backfired on me? I was nearly positive that she didn't take her vitamin, but what if I was wrong? Somebody help me on this one, please!
posted by Jen at
9:12 PM
5 Comments:
In my oh so humble, mother of four, opinion, you handled the situation very well. The only thing I would do in the future (THIS ONLY WORKS IF YOU ARE 100% SURE YOU ARE CORRECT) is to ask questions in such a manner they know you already know the truth. Instead of "did you throw away your vitamin" say "Why did you flush your vitamin?" or "was there something wrong with the vitamin I gave you, to make you throw it away?" As for the time-out...oh I am so mixed on all of this...I have an issue with my 6 year old, he lied A LOT! He also stole candy (mainly from siblings or me) and once I even took him to the sheriffs department because I didn't know what else to do...so no, a 10 minute time out, not so bad...my choice...last resort...In our family, we use the Bible as our guide for EVERYTHING and lying is not something God is cool with...so that is my opinion...
Did I mention, our 6 year old has spit his medicine back into his water cup after chewing it up? We, too, make him take it in front of us and DRINK THE ENTIRE GLASS of water...
11:39 PM
well.
First of all, congrats on following your instincts, which in my opinion were great.
Next, I'd say that anyone who thinks you handled this too severely is an ass. I can't stand lying and would have likely made that clear in a much harsher manner than you did, ( I have a short fuse ) and I can't imagine that ten minutes in time out could be called abuse even by one of those whacked out child psychology types. Kids will live up to the level of expectation you set out for them, that simple. You made it known what your expectations are and who could fault you for that? Good job in my estimation, and if anyone says anything different, send them over to me.
Nice seeing you again!
1:38 PM
Well......I might handle that a little differently, but I'm a softie. Actually, I think your response to the lying was right-on. And no, a 10 minute time out is fine. But after the lying has been addressed, it might be time to talk to your charge about the vitamin. First, it can be a teachable moment about nutrition. I think it's far better to explain to a kid why something is important - so she knows she's taking the vitamin so she grows up strong and healthy, not just because you and Mom say so. Second, the kid might just really hate those vitamins - I know I did. Maybe you could try a different kind and everyone would be happy.
5:53 PM
The only thing I'd add to what everyone's already said is that we usually do time out for age + 1. So, my 8 year old gets a 9 minute time out. My 2 year old gets a 3 minute time out. Make sense? That's the Texas DPHS "rule" for childcare facilities (and since that's where I work, it is just easy to do it at home as well).
I would definitely stay on her and watch her take her vitamin...perhaps after a period of time, you can start to let her have a bit of independence again...take the vitamin at the table while you are cleaning up, etc. Good luck!
6:04 PM
You did fine. I have gone through it with my girls, and I try to impress on them that I am going to get madder at them for lying to me than for the actual crime.
Finding out "Why" would be a good idea. Perhaps she doesn't like the chewables. My girls take soft "gummi" vitamins-- SC is old enough to take regular adult vitamins, but she likes these and still takes them. If so, talk to her mom--maybe she can switch vitamins!
10:09 PM
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