One Smokey Story

I began smoking when I got to college. I wanted to try it, just once. Don't ask me why, but I did. Nobody pressured me into it, nobody begged me to come smoke with them, my parents weren't smokers, only 1 of my 3 siblings is a smoker. Chalk it up to my own stupidity, but I wanted to try it. In the dorms, one of my hall mates bought a full pack of smokes--and only smoked 2 of them. I asked her for 1, she gave me the whole pack. I kept them, only smoked a few, and then threw them in a drawer.

Fast forward a month. I was stalked by a man who didn't understand the word 'no.' He had anger problems, he blocked me from leaving my room, he grabbed me in various places, he was big and he could hurt me. I was afraid. I couldn't sleep, barely ate anything, cried all the time. To ease my nerves, I dug out that pack of smokes. When I finished those, I bought another pack...and another...and another. Thus the addiction took root. I was addicted to nicotine.

At first a pack would last me a week or so. I slowly increased the amount I smoked...a pack would last a week, then 4 days, then 3 days, eventually leading to a pack a day habit. This summer was especially bad. I would smoke 4 or 5 a day during the week. 1 or 2 before I went to work and then 3 or 4 between the time I got home and when I went to bed. Weekends were a free for all. I could easily go through 3 or 4 packs between Friday night and Monday morning.

I was a smoker for 3 years and 10 months. I refuse to be a smoker for 4 years. I am no longer living with my ex--who is a smoker. He had no part in my decision to smoke, or to quit...but it was always easy to get a cigarette when I ran out since he usually had a pack. But I am living alone now, no smoker's around to enable me, no cigarettes in the house to temp me.

I will be successfull. I will not allow myself to fail. This is my life and I began shortening it 3 years and 10 months ago with that first cigarette. I will STOP shortening my life by puffing on cancer sticks. I will be healthy for my family, my future children, and myself. I am here for a reason, and I can guarantee it is NOT to throw my life away by ruining my lungs and dying prematurely.

I am a quitter. A quitter of smoking.

Jen

Smoke free for 1 day 13 hours & 4 minutes,
I have NOT smoked 14 cigarettes,
I have saved $3.54,
I have saved 1 hour and 10 minutes of my life