Bombshells

I can count on one hand how many times in my life a friend or family member has dropped a bombshell on me. However, I don't think any of them quite compare to the one dropped on me today.

I spent yesterday negotiating salary, responsibilities, and length of the job I accepted for the summer of 2008. Everything was going well, everybody was happy with the negotiations, and we were all well on our way to signing a final contract agreeing to the terms that we set together. Then I got the phone call today asking me to take the kids for the entire summer because they cannot afford them.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad, but let me explain a little more. I live 8 hours away from them. I would basically be a single parent of 2 children, ages 8 & 6. They would be completely my responsibility from June 1st to August 31st. I would be their official guardian during that time, the barrer of everything regarding to parenting. They would not visit their parents at all during this time, phone calls and e-mail would be the only communication between them.

I told them I would think about it. And that is literally all I have done since I got the phone call. I am completely torn. My heart is screaming yes while my head is screaming no. I have been thinking, praying, and crying for an answer. I have called my family, friends, and now I am reaching out to you. I just don't know what to do. Everytime I think about saying no, my heart breaks and the tears flow. Everytime I think about saying yes, fear overcomes me.

My heart breaks because I consider them my family. They are precious and unique in their own ways. The idea of them going to temporary foster care, or one of their many messed up family members-(drugs, alcohol, prositution, jail, robbery, the list goes on), devastates me. I know why their family asked me to do it. I am the best choice right now. Part of me swells with pride that they even asked, another part of me wants to go out and do something irresponsible so that I won't be the best option. I won't go out and do that, because that's not me. But the thought has crossed my mind.

The fear comes from just not knowing. I want to give these kids everything I can. I want them to grow up to be responsible, happy adults. I question my ability to care for them on my own. Not care in the physical sense, they would always have a roof over their head, clothes on their back, and food in their bellies. But care in the emotional and spiritual way. I am young, 22. This is a major decision for me to be making. It is a decision that I will have to live with, whichever way I choose.

I just don't know what to do. I am at a standstill and my family is split about which way I should go. I will ultimately make the final decision, I just pray that it is the right one. I don't want to look back in 10 years when they are 18 and 16 and wish I had chosen differently. I don't want them to suffer and be thrown into foster care, or be placed with family members who have shown that they are not capable of caring for children. But to take on 2 children, even if it is just for 90 days, is huge.

So here I am, at a crossroads, and I don't know which way to take. Any advice is welcome, positive or negative. All I ask is that you show tact and be respectful. Thank you.

To Stay-At-Home Parents Everywhere...

How do you do it?????? Seriously, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I've been working this job for a month and I am absolutely exhausted! I haven't worn make-up in 3 weeks, I feel like I need a nap about 2 hours after I wake up, and I never get a break. If it's not the kid, it's the dog. If it's not the dog, it's the kid. I am honestly wondering how I am going to manage 2 more months of this. When I first started this job I was worried about how to fill 14 hrs. a day, now I'm more concerned with making it through 14 hrs. a day.

I guess more than anything else I am just in awe at how stay-at-home parents/single parents do it all without another pair of hands. So to all of you stay at home/single parents, what are your tricks of the trade? Please share, because I am at a loss as to how you all function and get everything done.

My Baby, My Love

Today I said good-bye to my baby, Cameron. My little bug, my bubby, my smiley guy, and the baby who captured my heart since before he was born. I remember when I saw him for the first time in the hospital. His eyes were wide open, taking in the world around him. All bundled up in recieving blankets, just as quiet as could be. I held him and couldn't believe how heavy he was-(almost 10 lbs!). He had a beautiful head of soft, brown hair. I saw him roll over for the first time, I learned how to comfort him, how to put him down while he was sleeping, and how to get him to take a bottle. He developed asthma and I gave him breathing treatments while he sat in my lap and wondered what was going on. Then he began solid foods, thus began the long road of finding out that he was allergic to soy.

I had the pleasure of watching him 4 days a week and I marveled at how fast he grew and developed. He is now 8 months old, is crawling, pulling up, and trying to walk. He loves to feed himself and plays with anything that is not a toy! He likes to snuggle and has me wrapped around his little finger like nobody ever has before. He's got 4 pearly whites in his mouth and has quite the bite!

I will never forget the naps we were able to enjoy in the reclining chair. The way he woke up was so adorable, he would move, stretch, yawn, and whine all before he would finally open up his eyes. He liked his sleep and definately did not like to wake up!

So, my little smiley guy is off to another city, another house, and another sitter. I only hope that the next sitter can find the joy that I found during my 5 months with him.

Good luck my little bubby, I love you.

When Life Throws a Curveball

You'd better have a bat!

That's just one of the random things floating through my brain right now. Others include:

1. I only worked 19 hours out of 75 this week. Yeah, my paycheck is gonna suck. Instead of $250 it will be $60. Bye bye grocery shopping.

2. My plans to get a new car in May have been foiled by my overzelous parents. They want my current car by October, which only gives me 4 months to get the rest of my $$ together for a new car. They do this crap a lot and it's really starting to annoy me. It's my car, I bought it, I own it, TAKE IT IN MAY OR DON'T TAKE IT AT ALL!!!!

3. I have the next 4 days off and it's suppose to rain everyday....lovely.

4. My neighbor is an elderly lady who, I swear, is deaf. I'm sitting on the other side of the apartment with the door shut and I can hear every word of her tv. A bit annoying, no?

5. What am I gonna do for dinner????? I usually eat at work--and seeing as how my paycheck is well...itty bitty...I can't really buy anything. I guess it's good ole' noodles and butter tonight, YUM!

Hope your hump day is going well :):)

Sickness

I woke up with a nasty stomach bug on Monday and though I informed by boss of this, I still ended up working 11 hours because she wasn't able to take the day off of work and all 3 of her backup sitters were out of town. I did get today off though, so I've been sleeping on and off throughout the day.

I work tomorrow and then I will have the rest of the week off because the little girl is visiting her grandparents.

Other than that it's been pretty quite around here. I did some laundry today and I've been eating chicken noodle soup. I'm still running a temp of 100.2F but I feel fine.

Hope your week is going well!

Picture

My new favorite picture of me and Cam:

Summer Job-Week 1

This summer I am working 60-70 hours a week taking care of a 5 1/2 year old girl. I will try to post each week about the fun, and maybe not so fun, activities we did over the week. Here is Week 1:

Monday: Went Putt-Putt Golfing and enjoyed ice cream at a new ice cream parlor in town.

Tuesday: Bought a pass to the State Park 20 minutes away and swam/played for 4 hours.

Wednesday: Made window stick-on's, made paper plate masks and gave the dog a bath in the hose.

Thursday: Raised money by selling luminaries for Relay for Life.

Friday: Went to the state park, visited the Tower of History in town, and reunited 2 baby geese with their mother after they got stuck on the wrong side of the fence.

Those are the highlights for week 1. They will get better from here on out, I promise! We did much more than this because I have her for 14 hrs. a day, but those are the highlights. So what did you do this week?

Major Update

Hello from the sauna. On this episode of Jen's Semi-Interesting Life, she will be giving an update about all the interesting-(or uninteresting)-things that have happened in her life over the last month! Enjoy!!!

1. Brian and I separated. I moved into a one bedroom apt. and it is finally organized and feels like home!

2. Went to Alaska on a 7 day, 6 night cruise. Spend $500 on alcohol throughout the entire cruise and enjoyed every minute of my vacation. Pictures will be posted this weekend.

3. Went back to work the day after I arrived home and put in 90 hrs. in 2 weeks!

4. Traveled to Wisconsin to visit with the 1st family I ever nannied for. Was offered a job with them next summer as a live in nanny and signed a contract agreeing to work for them beginning in June 2008.

5. Traveled from Wisconsin to my dad's place in order to pick up my new glasses--suffered headaches for about a week from the new prescription.

6. A friend called me while I was traveling from my dad's place to my house and told me that the bishop of our church passed away in a nasty car accident.

7. Got back to my place and tried to process all of the information in addition to the recent breakup.

8. Began my summer job of working 60 hours a week.

9. Got a major sunburn and day 1 of my summer job even though I wore 50SPF AND put it on every 2 hrs. Go figure.

10. Got internet!

And that is the end of this episode of "Jen's Semi-Interesting Life" See ya'll next time!

I'm Connected!

It's about time hey? I got back from vacation and then went straight back to working 40 hrs. a week so I didn't have time to get the internet hooked up. When I finally had a few days off I ended up going to Wisconsin at the last minute and then 2 of my paychecks bounced so I didn't have the money. But it's all good now and I am connected to the wonderful world wide web again. I will write more this weekend, right now I need to find some food and nurse my sunburn!