The Grandma Chronicles-Part 1

So it dawned on me this evening, after drinking 2 margaritas and a vanilla white russian, that I haven't really posted anything about my grandma on here. This is a bit stupid on my part because it has consumed a large part of my thoughts this year and I have never sat down to put it in writing. So here goes:

My paternal grandmother is ill, she is my last surviving grandparent. I have never really gotten along with her. In 22 years I don't think I've ever heard her say something positive to anyone. The closest I got was when I recieved my associates degree and she said "I'm proud of you, but your degree is useless." Moving on...

She had a major stroke sometime in the last half of 2006. After blood thinning medication and rehabilitation she still wasn't improving. They did more tests and found out that she was having in the range of 10-20 mini-strokes a day. They increased her blood thinning medication and that still didn't help. Turns out she wasn't taking the medicine regularly, or watching her blood pressure, or eating. Fast forward to September 07...

They found cancer in her bowels. She had cancer in her bowels 9 years ago. She had surgery to remove the cancer 9 years ago, and in December of 06 she has surgery to remove more cancer. Turns out that it's more advanced than they thought and has grown in to abdomen. She had a few options, have a major operation with only a 5% chance of surviving, have radiation, have chemo, or have radiation and chemo together. She flip flopped through the options multiple times and, for now, has settled on radiation and chemo 5 days a week for 12 weeks. This has completely changed the family dynamic again...

My mother will pretty much be living with my grandma-(who is my dad's mom)-while she has chemo and radiation. While I understand the importance of somebody being there with my grandma while she endures these treatments, my grandma has 3 children. My dad, my aunt--who lives in New York, and my uncle--who lives 1 hour away. All 3 of them have turned a blind eye to this, so my mom has taken over. She's leaving on Sunday and after Sunday, unless I venture into the hell known as my grandmothers residence, I probably won't see her for 3 months. Now the fact that I won't see my mom for 3 months doesn't bother me, it's that I can't even have a decent conversation with her during those 3 months because every time I call I get the "I don't have time for you, I'm busy" statement that my mother is so fond of.

So that's the end of Part 1. Trust me, there is a lot more to write about, but I don't feel like writing a book tonight and besides, I don't think blogger would be too happy with me posting a 10 page post. That and you guys probably wouldn't read it all :) I know I wouldn't. Anyways, be on the lookout for Part 2 soon.

Have a good weekend everybody :)

Carseat Problem Solved

So last night I did some research, and C is still below the weight and height requirements for the 5 point harness. Judy, thank you--I never realized there was an overlap between the two. So technically she can use either, but I will be using the 5 pt. with her. This will make it much easier on my hand and she'll just have to deal with it. Thanks for the advice guys! Now I just have to go clean out my trunk because with 2 carseats, there's nowhere to put anything when I go shopping!

The Carseat Problem

Here's the stock:

2 carseats

1 is a toddler/booster seat-(can put in the straps for a 5 point harness or take it out so it's a booster seat used with the seat belt)

1 is an infant/toddler seat. Put it in facing backwards and it's an infant seat, put it in forwards and it's a toddler seat.

My car, 2 shoulder belts in the back seat with a belt strap in the middle seat.

Now for the problem:

The infant/toddler seat-(currently being used as an infant seat) will only fit in the middle seat in the back. The shoulder belts don't reach the buckle on the other side so the middle seat is the only option.

The toddler/booster seat-(currently being used as a booster seat) has to go on one of the 2 sides because you have to use the shoulder belt with a booster seat.

However, it's really a pain in the ass to have to dig around in the 1 inch space left between the 2 carseats to find the buckle every time I go somewhere and have to use the booster seat. I have the option of putting the 5 point harness back in the booster seat, which would mean that I could buckle the seat in and just leave it there. Technically, C meets the height and weight requirements for the booster seat, and she really likes using the shoulder belt like a "big girl."

So what do I do? Do I just suck it up and keep getting my hand stuck everytime I have to go somewhere with her? Or do I put the 5 pt. harness back in and just deal with an upset 5 yr. old because it'll be easier with me? I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I just don't know what to do. On one hand, I would feel safer with C in a 5 pt. harness because it's winter, there's a lot of accidents around here, and she always loosens the shoulder strap after I tighten it up--which makes me nervous. So, what would you do?

A Week of Learning

My week was tiring, but fullfilling. I learned many things, panicked about the work load a few times, and adjusted to only getting 6 hours of sleep a night.

My classes are going to be intense, but satisfying. The 2 graduate level classes are by far the hardest, but yet I look forward to them because they require the students to actually think and be involved. One of my graduate classes is a seminar, the students take turns leading a discussion about various readings. We are graded on our ability to lead the discussion and keep the students interested. I came to the realization after the 2nd day that it is harder to keep a college student's attention that it is a preschooler's. Should be interesting :)
My other graduate level class is a lecture class, but the professor makes it interesting and the material is intriguing. As for my last 2 classes, the business class is going to be a cinch. Right now we are spending 3 weeks on grammer and punctuation. The last class is B-O-R-I-N-G. The teacher is a complete push over. The exams are multiple choice with 10 questions a piece, and he let's you retake exams as many times as you want until you get at least a B. In other words, you can't fail.

Work has been a learning experience. The 5 year old I watch is reading like a pro. She tries to read everything, we write and draw all of the time. She has recently gotten into painting, because she got a new easel-(chalk board, a ream of paper, a dry erase board all in one)-for Christmas so we spend a lot of time doing that. We have been cooking together a lot more which makes for quite a mess but it is fun and she says the craziest things when we cook together. The 3 month old I watch is just a happy little baby. He is always smiling unless he's hungry and I am always talking to him. Just this week we started having 'conversations.' If I say something he will coo and then look at me and wait for me to say something again. It's really cute :) He just melts my heart every day because he smiles as soon as he sees me. He is tracking objects quite well and we're working on rolling from side to side. He's beginning to reach for things too and the main reason he hates tummy time is because he can't reach the toys in front of him because his arms are what's holding him up.

All in all it as been a busy, but fullfilling, week. Unfortunately I have to end this post now because I have homework, laundry, and shopping to do.

One More Day

One more day before I can relax a little bit and not have to worry about any obligations for 24 hrs. One more day until I can sleep in. One more day until I have no kids to care for. One more day until I can go grocery shopping, do my own laundry, and clean my own place. One more day until I can do laundry. One more day until I can actually sit down and eat. One more day until I don't have to pack a child's lunch, change diapers, clean up after someone else, watch a television show that isn't on PBS, or do dishes that aren't mine. One more day until I can actually post something worth reading. Just one more day.

Remembering When

I always sit back and remember on this day, Martin Luther King Junior Day. I have always had a lot of respect for the man, for standing up and voicing his opinion when it was not okay to do so. I also have a lot of respect for Rosa Parks, for not giving up her bus seat, for standing up not only for her race, but for her gender. I remember when I heard that Rosa Parks had passed, I cried. I cried because she was an amazing woman and so humble on top of it all. The world lost a great woman that day, and the pain was only slightly less when I found out that she was going to be lying in state in DC. At least the government took a few moments from worrying about themselves to think of someone else. I remember learning so much about Martin Luther King Junior and Rosa Parks in grade school. We were taught to have the utmost resect for them, and in an area where racism runs rampant, that was a true accomplishment of the teachers. Every class had a display about Martin Luther King Junior and Rosa Parks. The entire school memorized the famous "I Have a Dream" speech, and we wrote and wrote and wrote about Black History and the impact that Martin Luther King Junior and Rosa Parks had on the structure of America.

Sadly though, that is a thing of the past, at least around here it is. All of the schools are in session today, there is very little taught about Martin Luther King Junior, Black History, and Rosa Parks. I asked C last week if she learned about Martin Luther King Junior, Black History, or Rosa Parks. She looked at me and asked "Who?" I tried again, by asking her about the "I Have a Dream" speech, she told me about a dream she had about Bratz. It's sad really. The lack of respect for these amazing people and the lack of importance placed on their contributions to not only America, but the world.

So please, if you have children, speak to them about these important and influential people. If you are racist, do it anyways. Your children deserve only the best and that includes them learning about important, influential people and how they shaped America. Put your own feelings aside and just do it.

Peace

Monday Marker

So Monday officially began 42 minutes ago. I'm not a big fan of Monday's, but this one is particularily brutal, this Monday marks the beginning of the Spring 2007 semester AND the beginning of a 2nd job. In addition to marking the beginning of the aforementioned items, this Monday also marks the end of the meager social life that I have. Ah Monday, a necessary evil that rears it's ugly head every 7 days. The day that I dread every week, even if I have the day off. It's just a mean little day, and the only day of the week that starts with "M." Monday will forever be marked in my memory as a dreaded day. I will depart back into the college world today with these words:

If you're a hater of Monday's, like me, good luck.

If you're a lover of Monday's, what is wrong with you?

Stupid Landlord

Warning: Rant Ahead, read at your own risk.

So my fridge and kitchen sink have been leaking since May. I called the landlord in May and he came over a week later and put caulk around the leaking pipe under the sink. He told me the fridge wasn't a big deal unless it got worse. The sink stopped leaking for about a week, then I did dishes one day and flooded my kitchen thanks to the leaking pipe. Called the landlord again and he 'didn't have time' so I took matters into my own hands and fixed the pipe myself. It still leaks but not nearly as bad.

So now it's January, 7 1/2 months since I moved in, and he STILL hasn't come to check on the fridge. It's been progressively getting worse since May and no matter how many phone calls I make he still won't come fix it. Well today I opened the fridge to get some milk for my cereal and was met with a small wave of water pouring onto my kitchen floor. I threw a bunch of towels down, called the landlord AGAIN, got another stupid excuse-("it's Saturday, I don't work on Saturday's")-and went to work without breakfast. At work I got a phone call from the landlord saying he would try to look at the fridge before Friday. I came home from work at 12:30 and decided to vacuum out the dust that had gathered behind and under the fridge. I thought that maybe all of the dust was keeping the fridge from working properly and possible the fridge wasn't getting cold enough, hence the flood this morning. So I unplugged and pulled out the fridge. Let me tell you, it was not pretty.

First off, the last time this fridge was checked or professionally cleaned was 1992. But wait, it gets better. Instead of metal plateing attached to the back of the fridge where the wires and motor are, there was a piece of corrugated cardboard with holes punched in it where the screws were supposed to be. There's 10 holes on the fridge for the screws to go, but there's only 4 screws. So I unscrewed the cardboard and found a puddle of water underneath the motor, a PVC pipe that drained directly under the motor, and enough dust to make a sweater. In addition to the metal plateing being non-existant, there was no drain pan. So basically my fridge was a giant fire hazard. I vacuumed it out as best as I could, sopped up the water, and replaced the lovely cardboard backing with the 4 screws. Then I moved onto the front of the fridge. Big mistake!

I attached the little hose thingy to the vacuum cleaner and shoved it underneath the fridge to clean off the coils. Not 30 seconds after I shoved it under there, the vacuum cleaner clogged. Apparently 15 years of dust can take it's toll on a vacuum cleaner. So unclog the vacuum cleaner, attempt to clean underneath the fridge, and then realize that there's water coming from underneath the fridge. So I pull the fridge back out and the wonderful PVC pipe drain is draining onto the floor. I must've bumped it when I was cleaning back there. So I moved it, mopped the floor-(which was covered with brown water), and pushed the fridge back into place. Then I decided to clean the inside of the fridge and freezer. Got that done in no time because I clean it regularly. Then I noticed that there's 2 screws in the way back of the freezer. Being me I unscrewed them, pulled out the plastic piece that they were holding down, and found 3 inches of moldy ice underneath the bottom of the freezer. I grabbed a screw driver and went to work on it.

After digging through the iceberg in my freezer, I pulled off the cover to the fan in the freezer and Lord help me if I didn't gag. There was black mold EVERYWHERE. I tackled that, which was disgusting, and put the freezer back together. I put all of the food back in the fridge and freezer and cleaned up the mess I made. The whole cleaning deal took me 3 hours. Needless to say, I'm a little ticked off with the landlord. And to top it all off, the stupid fridge is STILL LEAKING!

Random Questions

Because it's late and there's nothing good on tv.

1. Do you eat breakfast or dinner food when you're still up at 1 or 2 am?

2. Why is it that when you put a pop tart in a toaster it is still a pop tart but when you put a piece of bread in a toaster is it called toast?

3. Why do the pictures frames you really like always fall off of the wall while the ones you hate never do?

4. Why when you have no place to go can you get ready in 30 minutes but when you have to be somewhere it takes you more than an hour to do the same routine?

5. Why do I have trouble falling asleep when I have to get up early the next morning but wake up early when I have nothing to do?

6. Why do places that get 6 months of winter and 2 months of summer have nothing to do in the winter and everything to do in the summer?

Okay I guess that's it. I'm off to figure out what to eat now. See Question 1 if you're wondering what I'm talking about.

To Do Lists

Why is it that you can never check of every item on a to-do list? I started writing to-do lists when I started working full time at 15. 7 years later I'm still writing them and still wondering why I'm never 'done.' Anybody else have this problem?

An Update of Sorts...

I'll just run down the list:

1. Blood test was negative. It's possible that I was pregnant but due to the medications and the surgery I had I miscarried. Or the test threw a false positive. We'll never know.

2. Hadda drive 3 hours to have a 10 minute appointment with my oral surgeon. Then I hadda drive 3 hours back. The good news is that there's no infection, the bad news is I hadda drive 6 hours for the surgeon to tell me that.

3. I'm currently being licensed with DHS. Don't ask me what it stands for, but basically the low income family I work for will get reimbersed a percentage of what they pay me for childcare. The paperwork is more of a pain in the ass than anything else.

4. I took a 2nd job. Once school starts I'll be taking 12 credits and working 40 hours a week. My pay will jump from $50 a week to $120. Niiiiiiiiice.

I guess that's about it. Have a good Friday!

The Emotional Rollercoaster

First of all, just let me say thank you to all for all of the support you've given me. I really appreciate it.

Now onto the other news. This morning I woke up and felt nauseous. My first thought was morning sickness. I ate a piece of toast and felt better. I made a Dr. appointment with an OB here in town. Then I went to the bathroom. I was bleeding. I grabbed the extra pregnancy test that was in the cabinet and took it. Waited the required 2 minutes. It was negative. I called my regular doctor and I'm going in tomorrow to have a blood test.

Then came the emotions. On one hand, and I know it sounds bad, I'll be glad if I'm not pregnant. On the other, it's a bit of a let down. Not that the pregnancy was planned, but I had wrapped my brain around being pregnant and having a baby in the fall. There's so many positive things for us if I'm not pregnant. Not that a pregnancy would be a negative thing, but not being pregnant would allow us to save for the future, finish school on time, and be less stressed.

So I don't really know what's going to happen. The nausea can be explained away by other things, mainly that the little girl I watch is sick, and I was with her for 36 hrs straight during the time when she was most contagious. But it can also be explained by a pregnancy. I will keep you updated when I know. Wish me luck--though I'm not really sure what I want the outcome to be.

2 Minutes

On January 1st I resolved to exercise more, be more organized, and spend more time with Brian. On January 6th, it only took the world 2 minutes to throw a wrench into my master plan for 2007. Folks, I'm pregnant. No, this wasn't planned. No, I don't want to be pregnant. No, I'm not excited. Yes, I'm freaking out. No, we're not rushing to get married.

I haven't had a blood test yet to confirm the pregnancy, and I have no clue how far along I am. So we're not 100% sure that I actually am. Currently I'm behaving as thought I am pregnant. I quit smoking, no alcohol, cut way back on the caffiene, and started taking prenatal vitamins.

So yeah, Happy New Year.

Help!!!

As soon as I have everything in order, somebody has to go and throw a wrench in it. When I left on Christmas break I had 1 offer to continue my current job. It's 16 hours a week. That was the only job offer I had--obviously I said yes. The key word in that sentence is "was." Now I have 3 more. Here's the break down:

Job offer #1: My former boss asked me to come back to the center that I worked at last year. The one where the boss "forgot" to put me on the schedule. It's minimum wage, which would be nice, but it's only 9 hours a week. Plus I'm not a yo-yo. I don't just come back whenever somebody needs me. Plus, it's not like I'm hurting for jobs right now.

Job offer #2: For a good friend of mine. It would be 20 hours a week, mornings only, 1 infant, and state paid. Would love to do it, but being state paid sucks. You wait forever for your checks when you go through DHS.

Job offer #3: For one of my advisors. It wouldn't start until June so I put this one on hold for now because I have no idea what I'm going to be doing in June. The upside is that I would get paid more because he's a professor. No idea about the hours for this one.

Add to this chaos the fact that I currently do occasional in home care for 4 other families right now and I gave my number to a 5th one today.

Sooooo....that's my New Year. How's yours?

I'm Back

Happy New Year! I'm back to my home with my wonderful man. The surgery went well, the 3rd & 4th days were rough due to the pain, but I made it through. I have minimal pain now so I'm just on ibprofen. The holes are closing up and the stitches are still in. I have another 2 days before I can brush my teeth with toothpaste and use mouthwash. I've been brushing with peroxide but it just doesn't give you that nice clean fresh taste like toothpaste and mouthwash does. The biggest problem now is that all of my other teeth are moving back because they have room so my gums are all swollen because of that.

Other than that not too much. I did some major after Christmas shopping when everything was discounted like crazy. I got $500 worth of stuff for about $100. :) I'll post more later this week, it's 11:30pm here and I'm tired. Hope you all had a safe and happy new year!